Heart to Heart

Your heartbeat. How often do you take the time to slow down and listen to the organ that pumps life into you?

We all may be different on the outside, however inside we beat as one.  Some of us have broken hearts, mending hearts, or hearts that will never be the same.

Lately all I have been doing is mentally beating myself up. Yes, I've been to the pity party where yours truly is the guest of honor.  I was struggling with all the changes I want and essentially need to make, and wondering why the UPS man hasn't delivered them to my door yet!

I've tried blame.  It doesn't work! Blaming yourself or others is just a little thing called denial that is your mind's way of preventing any soul growth.

So the blame and the pity party served it's purpose in distracting me for a while, until I finally broke down.  I won't hesitate to say it has been tough this past week in more ways than one.  I'm not perfect by any means.  I have faults that have limited me from being the person I really want to be.

So one of the steps I'm acting out is being true to my emotions.  Blocking them or ignoring them only makes me that much closer to becoming a robot.

Another is to take time to show gratitude.  Gratitude you say?  Yes the warm fuzzies, the sun shining, flowers blooming, I'm alive feeling.  Why? Because I believe that when you focus on all the positive things happening to you, it not only manifests more of the same, but rewires the way our brain is programmed to think.

Those of you that know me well, know I am an avid collector of books.  I'm thinking about becoming a member of Book Addicts Anonymous (just kidding)!  Anyways amid a couple of books I have, I read about the importance of taking time to slow down, experience an emotion, and heal from it. 

 None of us are without hurt or pain, whether past or present. Yet to experience this pain doesn't require a 24/7 gloomy assessment of all the things going wrong in your life.  Experience whatever emotion plagues you and move forward.

Remember that we all are connected through this one beat can unite us.  It's the human experience to have emotions.  I am choosing the good ones!

Sweet Rosalie

It has been twelve days since my grandmother started making her shift to leave this world.  For my friends I apologize upfront for not staying in touch during this time, but it was all I could do just to get through the day.  After I graduated, there was something that made me hesitate to take a job right away.  For my higher self knew on some level what was going to happen.  The universe had planned it out so I could be there with my grandmother during this time in her life.  I am forever grateful for the time I got to share with her and with my family.

Rosalie was born in 1916 and lived through the Great Depression, World War II, and many other interesting and trying times.  She learned not to waste anything and always valued what she did have.  Rosalie leaves behind three children, six grandchildren, and four great-grandchildren.

Those who know her best remember her radiant smile that touched your heart and her nickname of "bright eyes".  Towards the end of her life she lived to appreciate all the sweet moments life had to offer.  During this time I got to grow closer to my uncle, aunt, great uncle, and of course my mom. One of the lasting gifts Rosalie gave me was profound, but subtly so.

You see, we come into this world with nothing, no material possessions whatsoever.  Throughout our lives we accumulate these "things" we think are essential.  Then as the years go by, what once filled an entire house has now dwindled into a small room, and those things that were left can be dispersed quickly when one's life ends.  What we leave behind is not what most of us strive to work so hard for, all the material possessions, but rather it is our love we have shared and those people we have touched.

Things can be taken away in a blink of an eye, and I know my generation is obsessed with having the latest gizmo's and gadgets.  Rosalie gave me the gift that opened my eyes to what truly matters in life, family and friends. She taught elementary school, and yet it went beyond that, teaching others far and wide.

We all will leave this world one day as we make our transition back home to be with all of our loved ones and friends.  I want to look back on my life and be proud of the person I am.  It is an honor to have been taught by my grandmother to be brave, and go forward in life while keeping a smile on your face.  No one's life is easy as we go along our paths, yet trust and faith can bring you a long way.

As I sang to you Nana, you will always be in my thoughts and prayers.  I know that while the body is only a vessel, the spirit continues to live forever.  I am happy for you dear, that you finally are free and at peace.  I love you sweet Rosie.

Women.  We pluck, we prick, we squeeze, we agonize.  It is no wonder women are so obessed with looking perfect when that is all we are surrounded by.  It's on TV, on the radio, magazines, movies, and all other types of media.  That image of the perfect woman who is happy, thin, beautiful (body and hair), and smart.  We are expected to attain and attempt to achieve this look, without ever really achieving it. After all, the images you see are touched up, the women have eating disorders, and I'm willing to bet a lot of them aren't truly happy.  These images and messages are ingrained in us from the time we are little.  Girls wear pink, girls wear makeup, and blah blah blah.

So each day we the female species find ourselves doing this routine to no avail.  We stare in the mirror and criticize the things that jiggle, the things that sagg, those puff eyes or dark circles.  Then we attempt to cover up those imperfections with the latest miracle cream or some women even go as drastic as surgery.  All of this is an endless cycle that is designed to make women feel as if they aren't good enough and have to constantly improve themselves by purchasing the latest must-have easy fix.  When really there is nothing lasting, even plastic surgery will fade over time.

One thing that has become clear for me, is the need to take care of myself.  And that is on a variety of levels.  Our bodies act as a machine, only working as well as we maintain them.  Regular exercise, a healthy diet, and getting enough sleep can go a long way to making us feel better.  I find it interesting that many women who are beautiful don't feel like they are deep down. Beauty is more than skin deep, something society may know but as of right now we aren't willing to live by.  Inner and outer beauty start with feeling and believing.  You have to feel beautiful, happy, and joyful. If you believe it to the depths of your soul then you can have lasting happiness, which will make you beautiful.  If however, you choose to focus on all the things that make you worse, all your flaws it only brings more attention to them.  Take the time to consciously focus on everything you LIKE about yourself, instead of dislike.  Then focus on being the best person you can be all around.  That way we can stop obsessing so much over our image and take a breather.  One last thought for now: we constantly are being judged by others and judging ourselves.  Make an effort as a woman to be JUDGE FREE and not base a person's beauty by what is on the surface.  Sometimes there is a lot more under the surface left to be discovered.  It just takes the effort to look.

The Road to Happiness

The road to happiness is a continual journey for me.  For a long time I thought it was something to attain, a place that once reached there would be smooth sailing for the rest of my life.  So I would do things that made me happy, buy things that gave me joy, wishing to fulfill that level of happiness.  All of riches in the world wouldn't make a difference.  Sooner or later I was back to where I was before at square one when the "happiness high" wore off.

There is a quote by Democritus that says, "Happiness resides not in possessions and not in gold; the feeling of happiness dwells in the soul." Yet everywhere around us we are told how we aren't good enough and what we need to do or buy to become happy.  I'm reading the book Happy For No Reason, which I highly recommend for anyone searching for true happiness that can't be bought.  I'm learning the true values of life are happiness and love. Besides that nothing else compares.

So for those of you with the buy, buy, buy mentality ( of which I'm trying to move out of) who always have to purchase something in order to find happiness here is some advice for you:

You know the focus should be on love yet you get distracted by other things that you obsess over until they seem more important.  Stop trying to be like everybody else and just be you.  Ask yourself if you need this and see how you feel.  If it creates happiness for you then it is good.  If it creates fear or sadness then this is not helping you stick true to your path.  All the answers to your questions lie deep within you. You have the wisdom it takes to go down the path you seek. Is this on path with what you want to create? Possessions should make you happy and assist you on your path.  Don't let your voice be drowned out by the crowds'. What is right for them isn't right for you.  Be a leader, an individual instead of being a follower.

You want material things because you felt like it symbolized this place you couldn't reach and once you could things would be good.  Through material things you could elevate your life and make it more exciting, change it from what it was before.  It is okay to have nice things or want them, but don't sacrifice yourself to get these things.  Don't let these things become who you are.  What do YOU want? Own it for yourself and not because others have it.

Happiness is a journey for me...one that I plan on enjoying during the way.  No one can be happy all of the time but when you focus on the things that really matter in life, then you are one step closer.  May you all be Happy For No Reason and find your inner bliss.

Stepping into Who You Really Are

I live in a shell,
the place that I dwell
for seasons,
for reasons I don't
fully comprehend.

Always peeking out,
never fully living.
Afraid to stand my ground
it's easier to hide
in the safeness of the
place I reside.

But now the time has come
when I fully step into life
not to be overcome with worry or strife.
Shining the light as it bursts from my soul
to be what was written in the stars for me.
It is time to break out of the shell.

For such a long time all I can remember doing is constricting myself.  I would try to reason out of doing things, taking chances, and fully participating in what we call life.  Now I consciously have made the decision to step into who I really am and not be that scared little soul anymore.  I'm a sensitive person and often when people's energy is forceful and too overwhelming, I retreat to safety.  This however is hindering me from being the person I am.  Well, I am claiming my power back, but not what everyone probably thinks of as powerful.  This power stems from love, not from fear or hatred or controlling others.  The power I grasp is one that acknowledges my own self worth wrapped in a blanket full of love.  While it may slip under the radar of those that operate on that fearful and controlling power, this is more subtle, and infinitely more lasting.

You see my friends, life is not about controlling others to do what you want them to do.  Life is about sharing what you have to contribute to the world and the impact your actions leave on it long after you are gone from this Earth.  Sometimes people who have such grand potential fall short only to be held back by themselves.  Inside all of us, there is a calling to live the life you know you are supposed to when you came to this Earth.  Step into it now and live your life.  Be proud of the person you are and the choices you make.  Now is the time to leave the shell behind and behold the splendors awaiting you!

Love starts with yourSELF

I've had many ups and downs in my life.  Many moments when my world was not going the way I had planned, and when it felt easier to wallow in my own pity than actually do something about it. Each relationship that failed would make me reexamine my life.  Each ending brought an even more wonderful beginning.  For those of you that struggle with relationships listen to that inner voice.  The one that really knows how you feel. I like to call it your intuition.  Anyhow after looking at my life I realized the most important thing was to love myself.

No relationship worthy of lasting can survive if the person does not know themselves and love their self exactly as they are.  This I can vouch for is definitely harder than it looks.  Just think about how many times you criticize yourself everyday, staring in the mirror fixing all the things you think are wrong with you with your mind. Or those self defeating thoughts of yours that limit yourself and make your self-esteem plummet.  To you is say enough!!!!

I'm in the progress of working on loving myself.  Which is strange when you think about it.  Shouldn't you always love yourself?  Shouldn't things like happiness come naturally?  It seems strange that we have to work to be happy.

One of the first things I think everyone needs to learn to do is laugh at themselves.  Today I had dance class and we learned some new steps in ballet.  Now for those of you that don't know I LOVE to dance but it takes me awhile to catch on to any move.  So when we had to dance in front of the class sashaying to the other side of the room I messed up.  Yes I felt like a fish out of water, but one that was smiling the whole time.  The most admirable thing is to make a fool out of yourself but laugh all the while.  Embarrassment is a waste of energy when you can enjoy it more not caring what others thing about you.

May you all make a fool of yourselves and laugh while your doing it.  Because when you can laugh at yourself you are one step closer to loving yourself <3

Reawakening the Inner Child

Is it just me or do we tend to withdraw from our natural tendencies as a child to learn, explore, and play the older we become? As you grow up adults constantly tell you how to think and try to train you to follow what they believe.  It seems this constant repetition becomes ingrained in us until it replaces that fun loving child within.

As adults we focus on the negative aspects of the world.  From the media to our own lives we tend to focus on what is going wrong with it, instead of what is going right.

I've had the fortunate opportunity to travel outside the country.  I went to England and got to sing in a neurological hospital in front of people who couldn't speak or move--some of them moaning out in pain.  That experience humbled me; I realized all the gifts I take for granted everyday.

So now I am on a mission to reawaken my inner child; to find the curiosity, wonder, and excitement in all aspects of life.  The way I see it you have two options in life: you can choose to react to a situation negatively and let it ruin your day, or you can choose to be happy.  Acknowledge the event that occurred, then let it go. I know I know easier said than done!

I believe we become stuck in the pattern where we play the victim, the "poor me", focusing on all the wrong things.  The more you focus on what is wrong in your life, the more attention you send out into the universe telling it you want more of the same.

Today go out in the world and be in awe of the sun rising, feeling the breeze blow across your face, and giggle at life.  Appreciate all the things that you have to be grateful for and when faced with the choice to fall into the "poor me" phase or to rise above it and focus instead on happiness, choose wisely.  The day is yours for the taking so listen to that inner child and start to bring back the joy into your life. <3

Higher Minds

First blog here and already I have some great ideas.  As a person coming from a mass media background I was slow to see the movie The Social Network, which is about the creation of Facebook.  I'm taking classes where all we talk about is Facebook, Twitter, blogging, and all the various forms of social media.

So it got me thinking that while all these new forms of technology have created more interaction with people, it also has created a wedge.  The internet has created a whole new way of living that we as a society didn't have 10 years ago. However, most of the interaction online takes away the personal one-on-one interaction that makes us human. It makes it so people can physically be alone without ever having to feel alone.

Think about it, 10 years ago the pace of the world was slower than it is now. If we don't know something then we just have to "google" it. So this high pace world know makes us uncomfortable to be alone or sit quietly and muse about the joys of life.

I'm one of those people who need alone time every once in a while.  I like being able to breath and just relax.  Or if I so chose I can contemplate on the deep mysteries in life.  So as I went to Panera for dinner by myself after seeing a movie with friends, I began to wonder why it is frowned upon to go somewhere alone in public.

I speculate that we as a society find it weird to be alone in public because we are uncomfortable with ourselves. We are afraid of what our mind will do in the silence, when our true colors begin to shine.

I believe that we manifest things into our lives by our thoughts.  We can choose a thought and whether or not to hold onto that thought any longer or let it go.  I guess I would say that when we are by ourselves our True Self is revealed. So while it may be looked down on to go out somewhere by yourself, I find it liberating.  Go out there in the world and invest the time in yourself.  Give yourself the gift to explore your mind, heart, and soul without judgement on your behalf.